Usually I get some inspiration and do most of my thinking at night so that’s when I write my blogs. But today…well today didn’t take any thinking or imagination to come up with. I am not going to lie, I am fully aware that I have always been a spaz…and if you really know me then you will agree 100%. I used to blame it on random circumstances or my ADD…and sometimes still do. (which is true…) When I had the seizures my mind got so out of sorts that it was easy to believe that was the reason for my flightyness at times. (and it is…) So really, we are just going to go with all of the above and throw in a dash of “that’s just how God thought I should be.” Remember this for anytime you read one of my blog posts…they will make soooo much more sense. With that said…shall we begin?
I should completely be mortified to share these crazy stories sometimes, but you know, if I can’t make fun of myself then who will?! Wait, don’t answer that.
This morning (and I’m talking mid-morning because let’s just be honest here, this girl sleeps like a champ) I went in the kitchen to have a couple Oreos. Alright, half of that is a lie. I never eat just a “couple” of Oreos. Anywho, I got the milk out of the fridge and logically the next step in this case would to get a cup to pour said milk in. As I said, logically. Nope..I pull the drawer open that’s right in front of me and pull out a spoon. Yes, a spoon. A small spoon. No big deal right? Well it wouldn’t have been until I proceeded to open the milk and attempt to pour it into the spoon. That. Was. Not. Helpful. Ok sure, some people use them for dunking but as we have CLEARLY established I am NOT most people. I just wanted milk, a glass of milk. Enough milk to actually justify pouring milk to have with my Oreos. Is that too much to ask? I don’t play when it comes to my Oreo consumption and the PROPER way to eat them. However you eat them is probably wrong so just get over it and accept the fact that you are living a life of Oreo sin. But, on the bright side, I will pray for you and I am sure The Big Man upstairs and I can work something out for you.
Random comment here but I just realized that I am a horrible speller. Well, I didn’t just realize THAT part, but I realized the every time I type probably the spell check tells me that’s wrong. Likely because it’s actually spelled that way and not “probobly ” as I always type it. I’m not sure how I feel about this. All kinds of emotions going on about this right now. Don’t say I didn’t warn you that it was random…
I’m just going to go ahead and preface this by saying that I have tried to come up with many logical reasons as to why I did the following and I will try to convince you of all of them. Really, they could all be true or all just in my mind, so just pick one you think fits and go with that reason. See, a little interaction here, YOU get to determine part of the story! FUN!
You have to hear the back story (#sorrynotsorry) in order to understand. Last night I went to Foothills to catch up with some friends and I ordered a small (like itty bitty, cute little glass) of their famous Sexual Chocolate beer that comes out once a year. It. Is. A. Big. Deal! If you haven’t tried it you should. (Warning if you are a lightweight you should go prepared for that 9.7% alcohol content. Just saying…)
I was texting one of my friends that recently moved away and brought up that I had one..ok, two tiny ones but that totally just equals one. She was bummed that it was on tap and she wasn’t here. (which really I think she was just so upset that she wasn’t in my fabulous presence and eating fried pickles with me that it just threw her into complete and total shock and despair. That happens. It’s a curse.) SO, I was like “hey, want me to get you a growler for next time I see you?” and no one can turn that kind of offer down. I tried to get one there but the meanie head…which is really a sweet heart but a total meanie head in this case because I didn’t get my way…told me they didn’t sell those AND that the bottles had sold out in two hours when they went on sale.(I’m starting to believe this town may have a drinking problem. I might need to look into that.)
Moooooving on, last night a sweet friend e-mailed me about a store that is going to tap a keg of Sexual Chocolate and sell growlers on Saturday at noon. (No, I will not tell you where because yes, I am selfish and don’t want more competition!) After the awful Oreo debacle of February 12th, 2016 I maybe, sorta, kinda, possibly, actually did fall back asleep. I have an alarm that goes off on my phone at 12:15 every afternoon (yes, that’s important information) and when it went off today I sat STRAIGHT up in bed, jumped up, threw on jeans, shoes and a shirt (I probably shouldn’t tell you I even forgot a bra, so I wont) and grabbed my purse. I was out of the house in about 1.3 minutes. OMG, I WAS RUNNING LATE FOR THE GROWLER!!! I quickly started up the road and about 5 houses up the road I realized I didn’t have my phone. Tragic, I know! As I whipped around for some odd reason I thought to myself, “Self, what’s today?” OMG, I need to check my phone!!! But, alas, we have already established that I forgot it. I pulled right back in the drive way and walked back inside. I took one step in and yelled “Is today Saturday?!” Obviously I was answered with a big, fat “NO.” Well this just got awkward. Of course I double checked because I’m OCD and that’s what I do. Friday. Today is Friday. UN-BE-LEIVABLE! How could I do such a thing? I’ll tell you how…did you read the first paragraph?
You decide out of my excuses…
A) It will likely be a lazy day tomorrow and it’s been a lazy day today so it’s easy to get them mixed up.
B) We watched a live wedding of a friend this morning who had a destinations wedding (seriously, what a great way to share the wedding with people that can’t make it) and a bunch of weddings are on Saturdays so the mix up is totally legit.
C) I am Kim. Enough said. 🙂
Tomorrow I will be attending this undisclosed location and getting this dang beer!! I think I have earned my share of some too!! My friends can never, ever say I don’t love them!!!
I have decided on a challenge for my friends out there to help me with a future blog post. I would love for you to comment on this post about a crazy/stupid/silly/WTF?!/etc. moment that you remember that you have either seen, heard, or read about me. There. Are. Plenty! Obviously I am not too proud to share my stories so don’t be shy…They may just appear in a future post. 🙂
Love, hugs, kisses, Sexual Chocolate, and bright pink glitter for now,
P.S. Again, I refuse to re-read this so it comes with a guarantee of grammar and spelling mistakes. Also, probably will be right because it tells me that…duh. You’re welcome!